Tag: jokes
group name: drumsbeat521
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March 17, 2008 11:35 PM EDT --
Having a Colonoscopy is no joke, but these comments during the exam were quite humorous..... A physician claimed that the following are actual comments made by his patients (predominately male) while . . .
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April 03, 2008 05:03 PM EDT --
The principal use of Grandma's apron was to protect the dress underneath, but along with that, it served as a potholder for removing hot pans from the oven.
It was wonderful for drying . . .
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April 07, 2008 10:14 PM EDT --
Can Cold Water Clean Dishes?
This is for all the germ conscious folks that worry about using cold water to clean.
John went to visit his 90-year-old grandfather in a very secluded, rural . . .
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April 09, 2008 05:41 PM EDT --
VERY IMPORTANT BIRTHDAY REMINDER
This week we celebrate a special birthday !
Monica Lewinsky turned 34.
Can you believe it?
It seems like only yesterday she was crawling
around the White . . .
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April 10, 2008 12:20 AM EDT --
MY 5 NEW BOYFRIENDS!
I am seeing five gentlemen every day.
As soon as I wake up,
Will Power helps me get out of bed.
Then I go to see John.
. . .
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April 10, 2008 12:58 PM EDT --
I'D LOVE TO BE EIGHT AGAIN
A man asked his wife what she'd like for her birthday.
Oh,I'd love to be eight again" she replied.
On the morning of her . . .
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April 10, 2008 09:29 PM EDT --
SHOOTING IN BUTTE , MONTANA
Shotgun preteen vs. illegal alien Home Invaders:
Butte , Montana November 5, 2007
Two illegal aliens, . . .
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April 10, 2008 09:45 PM EDT --
HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHOM TO MARRY? (written by kids)
You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff . Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep . . .
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April 11, 2008 09:57 AM EDT --
Everyone seems to be wondering why Muslim terrorists are so quick to
commit suicide.
Let's see now:
No beer, No bars, No radio, No television, No Playboy or Penthouse,
No Teasers, . . .
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April 12, 2008 02:56 AM EDT --
DEAR ABBY ADMITTED SHE WAS AT A LOSS TO ANSWER THE FOLLOWING!
Dear Abby, A couple of women moved in across the hall from me. One is
a middle-aged gym teacher and the other is a social worker . . .
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April 12, 2008 11:18 AM EDT --
Three Things to Ponder:
1. Cows
2. The Constitution
3. The Ten Commandments
COWS
Is it just me, or does anyone else find it amazing that during the mad cow
epidemic our government . . .
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April 14, 2008 11:02 PM EDT --
This is so Funny & obviously written by a Former
MARINE
New Direction for any war : Send . . .
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April 15, 2008 05:39 PM EDT --
Three Little Words That Work !!
(1)The three little words are:
'Hold On, Please...'
Saying this, while putting down your phone and
walking off (instead of hanging-up . . .
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April 16, 2008 09:48 PM EDT --
WHEN THE TIME COMES, THERE WILL BE NO NURSING HOMES FOR US. WE ARE CHECKING INTO THE HOLIDAY INN.
With the average cost for a nursing home care costing $188.00 per day, there is a . . .
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April 22, 2008 08:38 PM EDT --
This is why women should not take men shopping against their will.
After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips Walmart. Unfortunately, like most men, I found . . .
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April 23, 2008 01:58 PM EDT --
ONE Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that you could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets. I asked for a half dozen nuggets. "We don't have half dozen . . .
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April 24, 2008 11:55 PM EDT --
An Amish farmer walking through his field, notices a man
drinking from his pond, with his hand.
The Amish man shouts:
'Trink das wasser nicht. Die kuhen haben dahin gesheissen.' . . .
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April 09, 2008 06:33 PM EDT --
1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE .
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside.
I just finished cleaning."
2. My mother taught . . .
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April 10, 2008 12:30 AM EDT --
The Top 10 indicators that your employer has changed to a cheaper Health Care Plan:
(10) Your annual breast exam is done at Hooters.
(9) Directions to your doctor's office include . . .
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April 11, 2008 10:45 AM EDT --
THREE WOMEN , TWO YOUNGER, AND ONE SENIOR CITIZEN, WERE SITTING NAKED
IN A SAUNA.
SUDDENLY THERE WAS A BEEPING SOUND. THE YOUNG WOMAN PRESSED HER FOREARM
AND THE BEEP STOPPED.
THE . . .
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